Lady With a Gun

veiled This photo by nephiniven can be found on Flickr. Click for the source.

Vendetta With a Twist


She had a loaded gun

and clocked her targets

one by one

all those rats that done

her wrong–

had just sung their last song.

She ticked them off her list

and checked it twice

for those she’d missed,

made extra sure she

got them all–

she had herself a ball!

They never saw her face

she kept it covered,

veil in place

only she knew who

was next–

they all looked so perplexed.

She pursed her red-hot lips

and blew the smoke

off the gun’s tip

then vanished in the

cool night fog–

to plug each dirty dog.

One day the doorbell rang

she opened up to

a bang! bang!

a lady, veiled had

her own gun–

there was no place to run.

Revenge can be quite sweet

when grasping tight,

the perp’s rapsheet,

but think before you do–

The ones who’re left

could gun for YOU!

Kathleen Mortensen©2009 Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Friday Feast of the Week #6 (Savoury and Sweet)

Easy, Breezy Baked Beans (Vegetarian) + a real treat!

beans Click for source

Ingredients:

2 cans beans in tomato sauce

2 Tbsp. ketchup

1 Tbsp. Russian mustard

2-3 Tbsp. brown sugar

1 Tbsp. cider vinegar

1 small onion, chopped

1 granny smith apple, chopped

1/2 tsp. pepper

1 Tbsp. fresh thyme (or 1 tsp. dried)

1 Tbsp. vegetable oil

1/4 cup water

Method:

Mix all ingredients together in a crock-pot (slow cooker). Cook on low for 6 hours. Stir halfway through.

Serve with brown or pumpernickel bread and a salad.

And now for the treat:

Years ago, I used to make a fantastic,fuss-free, no-fail dessert which was the chocolateyest, most decadent pudding you can imagine. I served it warm with the sauce it generates poured over vanilla ice-cream on top. Somehow, I lost the recipe so I decided to see if I could find one like it. I found this one over at one of my favourite websites: Allrecipes and I’m sharing it with you because it looks to be my old favourite. Ninety-nine percent of the reviewers raved about this pudding and I hope you’ll be just as pleased with it.

Note: You can make this recipe without the oil and replace the milk with water in order to make it good for vegan diets.

chocopud

Chocolate Pudding Cake

  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1 1/2 cups boiling water

DIRECTIONS

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F ( 175 degrees C).
  2. In ungreased 9 inch square pan, stir together flour, white sugar, cocoa, the baking powder, and salt. Mix in milk, oil, and vanilla with a fork until smooth.
  3. Spread batter evenly in pan (batter will be thick). Sprinkle with brown sugar and 1/4 cup cocoa. Pour boiling water over batter.
  4. Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 40 minutes. Let stand 15 minutes, then spoon into dessert dishes or cut into squares. Invert each square onto dessert plate and spoon sauce over each serving. Top with ice cream or whipped topping, if desired.

Enjoy!

Kat

Theme Thursday: “limo”

backstreet Click pic for Flickr source

(By request, an audio version of this piece is now available in the podcaster in my sidebar. I make no excuses for my accent! I just write ’em – I don’t necessarily act them out.)


Overheard in a Backstreet Boozer


“I never been in no limo!

What chu fink I am,

made of money?

Sumfink ain’t right.

I keep tellin’ ya;

I ain’t been in no limo!

Where wos I?

Where wos I?

Where wos YOU?


You! You wos s’posed ta be

on tha bloody corner, right?

Right?

So don’t come swannin’ in ‘ere

all Trinny and Susannah (you must be jokin’)

wiv yor la-de-da boots,

swingin’ yor bag

on that gold chain

(I’d like to wrap roun’ yor neck,

sometimes)

and you is tha one wot’s kickin’ off!

I AIN’T never been in no limo,

wiv no tart, AND see…

Oh, ‘ere we go!

For the last time:

I don’t know wot you

think you saw,

but it wos not ME!

I wos not in no LIMO!

I been warmin’ up this barstool

wiv my fat arse, for ages.

Got it?

Good!

Now, wot chu havin’?”

Kathleen Mortensen©2009 Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

One Single Impression: “allow”

gemstones

A Swelled Head

Allow me to explain:

When the hazing settles in–

the fog, descending–

a dense murk

like a Dickens backstreet

or a Halifax harbour;

then the sounds of droning mowers

or snarling trimmers

gorging on bushes–

the low murmur

of music on the radio

and the lights! Oh, the lights!

Turn them down low,

for pity’s sake!

Or switch them OFF.

ALL can spiral

you into madness.

The aura, they call it–

drawing eyelids down,

and down

lower and lower;

tightening teeth

as if endlessly flossed;

plugging ears

with sponge bullets.

If all the sheet-rags

mother used to rip

and wind in wet hair

were packed into

the cranial cavity—

to capacity,

you’d have it!

Nothing is going to

EXPLODE. No!

Yet the pressure adheres

in the hemispheres,

as if some bomb

were set

to go off.

Retreat,

to the restfulness

of a dark room,

and an unmade bed

with too many pillows

where a head can hide,

but first,

take the magic,

green-gel pill–

a fairy-tale gem

stolen from the queen’s corona.

Drink,

in blind faith of pharmacology

and anticipation

of relief.

Sink into

blessed oblivion.

Kathleen Mortensen©2009 Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Our Dorian Gray

damien

A fun post over at Willow Manor yesterday, reminded me of this poem I wrote a while back. It’s kind of creepy and good for a Saturday read.

Little Boy Lost


Down in the basement

High up on a shelf

Sits mysterious picture–

No pixie or elf.

Who is this figure

From so long ago,

In jacket and tie

With flames all aglow?

Smiles not, this small fry;

The eyes reveal naught;

His meticulous posture

The artisan caught.

Who is this youngster

On canvas, in oil,

Sends chills up my spine,

My dreams sure to spoil?

Try not to ponder

The image downstairs,

Tucked away in the backroom

To stop raising hairs.

Each time I recall

It rests under our roof,

Belief in Beelzebub

Seems to have proof.

Why do we hold on

To our Dorian Gray

That lurks in its chamber;

Why let the ghoul stay?

It’s not just a painting;

We haven’t gone mad!

It’s actually my husband–

When he was a lad.

Kathleen Mortensen©2008 Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

Friday Feast of the Week #5 (+ a movie recommendation)

Poetikat’s Pasta Puttanesca
pputta Click pic for source
Pasta Puttanesca: According to Wikipedia, there are a number of theories as to how this dish got its name. I don’t know where I first heard of it – most likely it was Graham Kerr’s show that we used to get on Channel 11 when I was just a kid and would watch in fascination as he galloped about his onstage kitchen and created superb and tantalizing meals.
I’ve always subscribed the the theory that it originated with Italian prostitutes so, I guess I have to go with The Frugal Gourmet’s definition of a cheap meal that prozzies could prepare between customers. Scandalous!
The dish works for me, although not a lady of the night (unless you count my bouts with insomnia), since it is inexpensive, easy to prepare and adaptable to our personal taste. I’d like to share my version which does not have the traditional anchovies or capers and which, begrudgingly, my husband has come to like despite the presence of black olives.
So, look away if black olives are not your thing.

The perfect complement to this delicious dish? Danish film, Italian For Beginners. (Click the link to see a trailer.)

Ingredients:

2 cans diced tomatoes
3 cloves garlic
1 can tuna (good quality, in olive oil), drained
1/2 cup of good quality pitted, black olives. sliced or chopped
(use canned, if necessary)
1 Tbsp olive oil
1 onion, chopped
3/4 cup red wine
1 Tbsp. oregano (double quantity for fresh)
1/2 – 1 tsp. chilli peppers (to your taste)
pasta of choice (I prefer organic linguine)

Method:

Heat oil in large saucepan. Saute onion for 3 minutes. Add tuna, garlic, chilli peppers and stir for a few minutes until flavours are blended. Add tomatoes, oregano and wine. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 mins.
Serve over hot pasta with freshly, grated parmesan.
Buon Appetito!