Theme Thursday: “limo”

backstreet Click pic for Flickr source

(By request, an audio version of this piece is now available in the podcaster in my sidebar. I make no excuses for my accent! I just write ’em – I don’t necessarily act them out.)


Overheard in a Backstreet Boozer


“I never been in no limo!

What chu fink I am,

made of money?

Sumfink ain’t right.

I keep tellin’ ya;

I ain’t been in no limo!

Where wos I?

Where wos I?

Where wos YOU?


You! You wos s’posed ta be

on tha bloody corner, right?

Right?

So don’t come swannin’ in ‘ere

all Trinny and Susannah (you must be jokin’)

wiv yor la-de-da boots,

swingin’ yor bag

on that gold chain

(I’d like to wrap roun’ yor neck,

sometimes)

and you is tha one wot’s kickin’ off!

I AIN’T never been in no limo,

wiv no tart, AND see…

Oh, ‘ere we go!

For the last time:

I don’t know wot you

think you saw,

but it wos not ME!

I wos not in no LIMO!

I been warmin’ up this barstool

wiv my fat arse, for ages.

Got it?

Good!

Now, wot chu havin’?”

Kathleen Mortensen©2009 Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

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33 thoughts on “Theme Thursday: “limo”

  1. Definitely not the Bronx..I was born in Da Bronx, never heard anything that clever there! By the way, I've left a MeMe Award for you on my blog. simple stuff..just 7 bits of info about you..and then pass it on..Thanks!

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  2. Kat, I roared when I read it but roared even more when I heard it. I love the almost Audrey Hepburn in “My Fair Lady” echoes coming through. I think I may have to record this for you and get it over there! Fabulous, thanks, that's made my evening.

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  3. I was lazy and decided to listen instead of read and that was FUNNY!That was a pretty good Cockney accent for a Canadian!Can we have a pic of some la-de-da boots please? I'm off for a Ruby ,be lucky Cockney Kat!

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  4. Liza – I didn't like the way they changed Liam's character from a decent, married guy, to a slavering philanderer! I wish they had not killed him off though.E-mail me sometime.Kat

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  5. Just caught up with this post Kat – fantastic cockney accent! I'm a Londoner and this scenario is spot on. I love the way some readers from across the pond have mistaken the accent for Coronation Street! A great post – I'm going to listen to you reading it!

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